The greatest thing you'll ever learn...
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The higher you climb, the harder you fall
Edit: I started writing this on Wednesday night.
I just watched Middlesbrough lose the UEFA Cup Final. It was a disappointing match, and Mark and I left the pub pretty soon after the final whistle was blown, Mark heading straight home. It got me thinking, that if they'd gone out much earlier, it wouldn't have been so sad. Infact, if they hadn't got in at all, if they'd finished slightly lower in the league last season, boro fans would've been saved a lot of heartache. They'd have missed some wonderful moments though. The time when they won places in two semi-finals. The times they came back from 3 goals down to win outstandingly in both the quarter and the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup. So is it worth it? And is it the same with love? The more you love someone, the more vulnerable you make yourself, the more power you give them to hurt you. So if, in a relationship you go out in the first round, well it hurts, but you'll get over it pretty quickly. If you don't even make it into the relationship in the first place, there may be a different kind of pain, but it certainly won't destroy you. But what if you're going strong? You've had some incredible comebacks and you've won your place in the final. What happens if you lose then? What happens if you fight bravely, but it's just not enough? Will you ever recover? Is there even a final in relationships? Is it worth all of that potential for hurting someone else? For getting hurt?
The truth is the answer is yes. Or course it's worth it. It's what makes us alive. As someone wise once said, in an episode of Dawson's Creek (back in the good old days when it was actually worth watching), 'our pain makes us real.' To love someone means taking risks. If we don't, we might as well be dead. So here's to loving, to laughing, to crying, to hurting, to supporting teams - and people - who might not always win, to backing the underdog, to taking risks and living bravely.
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Birthday Eve
Ingredients
1 part Malibu
1 part Archers
4 parts cloudy apple juice
Serve in a tall glass with ice and a gherkin to garnish.
Cheers Mark!
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Conversations
"Birthdays are exciting, aren't they?"
"Only because they used to be."
Isn't that a sad thought. And I'd like to refute anything that Bex might say...it's not true!
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Today I...
- slept until after 11 o'clock
- had breakfast with lots of people in my house
- didn't get dressed til quarter to two (when, somewhat embarrassingly, people I didn't know arrived)
- celebrated a friend's birthday
- had coffee and then tea with a good friend who I rarely see
- chatted for hours with a good friend who I live with, but also don't spend lots of time with
- processed a lot of old and current pain, was honest, listened and set the world to rights all in the aforementioned conversation (and wondered aloud many times about weird introverts who can process things on their own - there's enough for another blog there)
- told a friend that she'd upset me, which helped me not to be angry with her, and didn't make her upset
Aren't bank holidays wonderful?
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Some good things
I'm going on holiday tomorrow, well kinda...I'm on leave, and I'm going up to Middlesbrough to stay with Mark's family, which I hope will be very relaxing (and apparently we might get an Easter egg hunt!) and I'm not back at work til the 24th.
After severe option paralysis (see Lucie's blog for laughs about this) I went to Arbury road for dinner with Jerry, Verity & Matt, and Suzie came later, and it was great. I used to hang out with Jem lots when we were lazy students, but don't see him as much now, so it was really good just to chill for the evening.
A girl at my arts & crafts session today made me a card that says "To Liz you are a very Nice art teacher and smiley best wishes keep on smileing Love from Khaleda ? Another girl made me a little yellow Easter chick (her sister had been sent earlier in the session to find out what my favourite colour was), I might post a photo of it later.
I did lots of washing today and yesterday, so now have many many clean clothes.
I'm gonna go to bed soon, and sleep for a long time :-)
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Today...
I went to prison, that was pretty harrowing.
Some American friends of Lucie came for dinner. This is what they said about our conversation:
"You all talk about nothing, but it's so deep!"
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We apologise for the delay in transmission
Sorry about the silence, oh devoted blog reader. I'm having approval issues about my blog. Hopefully soon I will feel like I have a good reason to update. I want to tell you all about Madrid, and there was something else which I can't remember now, but I can't bring myself to do it at the moment. Please don't be cross.
(Ooooh...the exciting thing I will tell you is that I've bought all 7 seasons of Buffy off eBay. It was a bit accidental, but I am very pleased cos it only cost $54 with p&p (sorry for the dollar sign, but my computer is american (as you'll know if you're an avid reader, which I'm sure you are), so there's no pound sign). Anyone fancy getting into it again with me? You know you wanna.)
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